Marriage imploding. We have a toddler. Help.

… My wife and I have been together for 6 years, married for 2.5. 18 months ago we had a son. He’s my everything. My life revolves around him, but my marriage is totally imploding. Too many fights, too many awful exchanges of names and insults, too many things broken, too many times the rings have been taken off and thrown at me. I have not been the most loving husband since our son showed up. I’ve tried, keep trying, but the constant disappointment and anger I feel from her—even though I pay for our lives and am an incredible father, working from home to be able to split the childcare 50/50– has left me angry, bitter and a totally unrecognizable version of myself. I hate my life. Every day starts in the spare room with a big sigh, a few dark thoughts and then coffee. I feel trapped. I want my marriage to work but I’m starting to really hate my wife. She’s told me she hates me I don’t even know how many times. It feels fucked. Toxic. Painful. Occasionally we can put our shit aside and really enjoy ourselves, but it only lasts a few days before we’re at each others throats again. It’s relentless and exhausting. It all feels so heavy.

The idea of being a single parent right now sounds incredible and peaceful and very appealing. But when I think about the logistics and the reality of that, I feel so sad and overwhelmed, then I don’t want to think about it. I convince myself it’s gotta work somehow. We have to figure it out. So I apologise for my part in our fights, but she just stays mad at me, and her moods create such a hostile environment that I hate living in.

Single dads out there, does this sound familiar? Was getting out the right call? Do you have regrets? What was it like? I feel so much guilt that it’s not working. I don’t want my son to go through this. And I don’t want my wife and I to go through this. But I can’t imagine going on like this much longer. We’ve done therapy, and it’s not worked. I don’t know what to do. I need advice. I don’t want this to turn into a disaster divorce if that’s where it’s going. Neither of us are happy.