How Can We Improve Dating Sites?

A lot of really good men are really frustrated with the dating market. My femme presenting friend found that explaining to our straight male friends what our experience on dating sites is like really helped them get better results and not feel so rejected. This post is an attempt to do that and invite more cross gender collaboration about how we can have a better experience on dating sites.

I'm a slightly overweight 37 year old woman with very niche interests that make very few men interested in dating me. I don't think I have significant advantages that compensate for these disadvantages on the dating market. Nothing could have prepared me for my first experience on a dating site. In the 24 hours since I've joined okCupid, I've gotten 454 likes. But when I try to see if I'm compatible with these men, I find many profiles with almost nothing there and many profiles with so little in common that I'm extremely skeptical they read my profile. My femme-presenting friend explained that much of these likes are from men who have not read my profile, and just like almost every single profile they encounter.

I do not have time to wade through all these irrelevant profiles. If a man who has liked me hasn't put a lot of thought into his profile and asked me a deep question or shown he's read my profile in an intro message, the chances of me seeing his profile are slim, no matter how compatible we are. This is in nobody's best interests! In addition to wasting everyone involved's time, this is surely driving women off the site. There has to be a better way than this. In the meantime, if you are one of seemingly the vast majority of men who doesn't have a very well thought out profile, likes rather than messages women, or who sends generic messages, changing this could be a way of dramatically improving your dating experience.

What are other people's thoughts? My heart aches for my wonderful male friends who are getting a really raw deal from this bad equilibrium.