Apology Letter to Zoey

Dear Zoey,

I’m sorry that you had to leave us so soon. You were by far the best animal I ever owned. Your death truly saddens me. As I look back at the photos and videos you were such a good and lovable dog. You were so happy and playful. Much more so than when you arrived. Yet I am so sad because I have the pictures and videos, but i do not have the memories. As much as I want to remember you jumping in bed to sleep with us or playing ball together, I just can’t and I am scared that I will forget you.

The memories I do have are the ones where I treated you like a burden: Having to take you out to the bathroom at 2 AM, getting mad when you would run off, kicking you out the room because you wouldn’t stop licking your feet, etc. I do not like the incompassionate person that I have become. I do not like the fact that I took your presence for granted.

The last day of your life terrified me. I remember rubbing your head and telling you everything was okay knowing it wasn’t. I remember scooping you in my arms in the hopes of saving you. I’m not sure what more I could have done. I like to think that somehow shows that I did love you and care about you. I just can’t help but feel by that point it was too little too late.

So this is my letter to you, my good girl Zoey, to say that I hope you can forgive me for the past year or two. To know that I was working hard for my family - including you. Those acts of frustration may have made you feel unloved, but I never stopped loving you from the first moment I held you in my arms. Yet even when I didn’t deserve it you laid as close to me as you could every night even when you could no longer make it on the bed. I wasn’t prepared to lose you and seeing your lifeless body is one of the hardest things I have been through. Yet even in that moment I needed to stay strong for your human mom.

So please forgive me because if we do ever meet again I will shower you with the love and attention you deserve. I will scratch your back until it no longer itches. I will lift you on the bed one more time for old time sake.

Again, you were the best dog. You were never replaced and never will be replaced. I am working very hard to forgive myself and to preserve the good memories we had. I know you loved us and you would be here with us if you could. I will create a little area just for your ashes and surround it with some pictures and your stuff in the hopes of keeping you in my memories forever.

So until we meet again, I hope you are enjoying yourself wherever you are. I hope your spirit does live on because even if you where just a “dog” you where the kindest, most loyal, unconditionally loving being that I knew. The world needs more of that. You could have used more of that from me.so please please please forgive me Zoey because I love you and I am sorry. I cannot turn the clock back so all I can do is to try to be better moving forward.Even if I didn’t always show you love I hope deep down you knew you were. I am so sorry and I hope we can meet again so I can say it to you.

I love you, I miss you, Please forgive me, I’m sorry,

Your human dad,

Jason