Searching for the perfect (and elusive) gray lipstick

I’ve really grown to love how the “my lips but deader” look is on me. I’m fair and cool toned. I’m also a stay at home mom that rarely leaves the house, so I’m wanting to play around with more experimental looks. I’m also a goth who is creeping up on the dusty side of 30, lol. So, something more suitable for the school pick up line.

I’m needing recs for cool toned gray lipsticks. I want to achieve my “sickly Victorian child” look fantasy. I know most here are trying not to look like a corpse, but I’m wanting to lean into it. I’ve scoured the internet a for days and most online searches of pale/grayish shades still look too pink/lilac or run more brown/warm.

For context: MOB beauty M102 is way too pink for my liking. I got lucky and scored Maybelline Gone Greige years ago, and it’s close, but a touch too dark. Some other options I’ve looked into are sold out unfortunately, like Black Moon cosmetics in Bone, or Necromamcy’s Osamenta.

I just know I’d strongly prefer to not resort to concealer lips, as that gives this millennial ptsd flashbacks to tacky girls I want to high school with. 😅