Faaltu ka Dilemma

Not a long time ago, I met a guy on an online platform. He had a history that he rarely talked about and was revealed through a snitch (TW: childhood abuse), or so he said that led him to openly flirt, s*xt with other girls (and some girls returned the favor happily too, owing to the anonymity), and even post x-rated content. This was a red flag in itself - but I guess we have grown so used to the burayi around us that it no longer feels like a burayi anymore. Making us all equal red flags. 🚩🚩

However, despite being a proud playboy, he never talked to me once in his signature style, because I was firm in rejecting his advances, and always ended up saying 'You're making my mental health better', 'You make me laugh so much', and you know, stuff like this - that two normal people would talk about. 🥲😅 He even used to say, 'If you talk to me on call once, I'll leave whatever I'm doing right now'. He also taught me his native language. (A big LOL, but this somehow felt like a lovely gesture to me. 🥲🥲)

Thankfully, I wasn't naive enough to believe in his sugarcoated lies (maybe). But yeah, I never gave him any of my personal social media accounts, and the same goes for him (he did give me a burner SC account and also made an account on a multi-player game platform that only the both of us knew about, just to 'stay in touch with me', lol).

However, despite all this, he ended up ghosting me, leaving me confused and hurt as to what I had done wrong to deserve all this. We didn't fight. We didn't end on bitter terms - nothing like this happened at all. In fact the very last day before this community ended for good, he texted me saying 'Is it love if I stalk you everyday?', 'I can never hurt you', 'I know you think about me everyday', leaving me as confused as ever.

Despite all of this, I'm (once again) left open to the possibility of thinking 'Will he ever return?', 'What did I do wrong?' - only to be met with the conclusion that maybe these guys have a knack of doing this without feeling any remorse at all for their actions. 🥹🥹🥹