feeling alone and discouraged on my poetry journey

i've always loved to write but i just recently started poetry. it's a very beautiful way to express oneself and i'm trying to cope through writing. i showed a few friends some poems and they laughed. i've always struggled to connect and felt alone so i created a tik tok account to post some poems. the first few got a few likes and very sweet comments, but the others have lost traction and i'm feeling very discouraged. i'm hoping to get tips and corrections and advice for my poetry and to be able to create something beautiful one day. i will link my tik tok account and will paste one of my poems below, thank you so much for reading. i'm sorry it's formatted kind of weird, i don't know how to fix the spacing and i hope it's not too much of a trouble to read

---> https://www.tiktok.com/@ltwritings?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

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i’m willing to do whatever it takes

to uproot this seed of anguish

and its roots of desolation

from the corroding trunk

of my body

my brain has neglected my soul and 

disregarded the needs of my being, 

causing the entire ecosystem to shut down and putrefy my spirit.

this feeling is agonizing;

the pain of living,

the distress that continuing brings

i need it to stop

i wish i knew how to make it stop.

i don’t have a lot of options left.

i need to be extirpated from the pot of my existence

i am no longer a thriving flower

but a deadly nightshade

i am no longer beautiful 

and have not been pleasing to the eye for a long time;

i take great effort to be tolerated 

and remain arduous to be taken care of

i feel myself decaying, 

wilting more and more each day. 

but one bad flower doesn’t ruin a garden. 

it makes itself look more pitiful. 

how pathetic do you have to be 

to wither in a place where others thrive? 

to languish in an environment where others prosper?

this feeling will not go away

this feeling festers more each day

it’s ruining me

it’s ruining my life

and it will ruin the lives of those after me

so why would i produce seeds that

would likely burden the failure that i brought upon them?

that would decay in the same places i did?

the pain is too strong

but i am rooted too deeply

in the soil that refuses to let me go

if my roots won’t let me down,

i will have to fall over

let the insects make way through my wilting petals

and destroy what’s left of my body

if you pick my petals, you’ll never be loved. 

save yourself the despair of loneliness 

and choose a flower who will return you the love that is deserved.

the sun, your god,

he loves me, 

he loves me not,

he loves me,

he loves me not

my wilting flower

he just lets me rot

Wilted Stem

By: ltwritings