i want to cancel my wedding

I am not the kind of person who is insecure and easily gets jealous. To be fair, wala akong gaanong concept as long as wala akong nakikitang mali na ginagawa sa akin. I am secure sa sarili ko. Hindi ako maganda at hindi rin naman pangit, and I take pride and confidence in that. I always put my trust sa isang tao ng buo.

Kaso it all changed when my bf cheated on me na nalaman ko lang lahat a year after. I saw na he was stalking and actively searching provocative women on social media, watches countless thirst traps/ videos, even likes/hearts/reacts on pictures and posts of these random women and women he used to talk to. To put the cherry on top, I saw that he messaged a random girl on ig that time. To cut the long story short, it was so painful and my esteem and trust obliterated. Yet, I forgave him. Akala ko okay na.

A year pass, I guess we are back to square one. Back at it again to these habits and ang masakit is he told me that he stopped doing all of it when I told him to. Turns out, gumaling lang mag tago. Sobrang sakit na l needed to put it out here in the open. Pakiramdam ko sasabog ako pag hindi ko nailabas ngayon.

Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko bang i-spend yung buong buhay ko with him, knowing that we can't even build a solid foundation of trust. He's a very good guy, it’s just that pag dating sa ganto hindi ko alam. Normal na yata sa mga lalaki pagiging malibog.