F*ck postpartum fitness culture! *Rant*

Can I just say how annoyed I am with social media and society in general for making women feel like their number one priority after having a child is to be “fitter and stronger than ever”? And why are we as new mothers expected to have a “no excuses” attitude towards working out and eating clean to look as best as possible? As if this were the most important thing a person could achieve in this life?

Pre-pregnancy and during pregnancy I lifted weights 4-5 x per week. I woke up at 5am each morning to do so, morning sickness or not. I get the “no excuses” mantra. I used that mantra myself before children. I get it. My identity used to be tied to my physical appearance. But how the hell (and why the hell) are we expected to bounce back when we’re barely surviving, have gotten less than 5 hours of broken sleep per night for MONTHS (I have a 6 month old), and can’t function well enough to eat properly?

I lost all the baby weight by 12 weeks PP. each morning when I woke up I would immediately try to figure out a way to squeeze in a workout. I was obsessed. So much time and mental energy went into that when I should have been enjoying my time with my precious newborn. Fast forward to now, in the dead of winter, after months of no sleep and crazy hormonal changes (weaning and returned periods) I haven’t had a proper workout in weeks and don’t even want to know what the scale says. I am tired, my face is always puffy and my leggings feel tight most days. All my hard work in that early PP period has come undone because I just could not keep up.

Is anyone else as annoyed by this as I am? Maybe my priorities just aren’t the same as other new mothers who do manage to maintain their fitness, and maybe I am a disappointed in myself for “letting myself go” compared to my previous fitness level, but I just cannot fathom trying to muster up the energy to make an aesthetic goal my reason for getting out of bed right now. I have resigned myself to enjoying contact naps with my baby while they last, drinking copious amounts of coffee for breakfast (yes, just coffee) and giving myself permission to eat the crumbs at the bottom of the chip bag for supper some nights because cooking and doing dishes is not something my energy levels will tolerate right now. Am I helping my hormones with this routine? No. Would I feel better if I made time to exercise and eat right? Probably. If I weren’t dead tired. Maybe one day I will get back to it, but for now, I am just surviving.

That is all! Thank you for tuning in to my rant.