I almost shook my baby!!!

I almost shook my baby tonight. After hours of him crying and screaming, despite feeding him, burping him, cuddling him, rocking him, trying everything.... felt like I couldn't take it anymore. It's like this every single day, every single night, and I'm so drained.

He's 4 months now. He had colic from birth until 3 months, then we had 2 weeks of smiles and laughter. But now we're back to constant crying, and I don't know if it's sleep regression, teething, or something else. It's always something, and it never ends.

My husband and I haven't slept properly in 4 months! I hate myself for almost losing control. I almost shook my little baby boy... he was so Sleepy but refused to sleep and kept crying, at one point I shouted saying 'GO TO SLEEP' and he got scared😞😞My poor baby....l don't deserve him. He deserves a better mother than me. I hate myself for even getting to this point. I don't know what to do!!!!! When will this end!? Someone please please tell me that it gets better? How do I forgive myself?