I tried making friends and failed

I tried making online friends and the expectation to communicate was too high. It just stressed me out. Now I feel like a hypocrite who says they want friends but can't handle keeping relationships either. It just feels like a job or obligation. Honestly I don't even necessarily want a pointless friend group, I want a sense of purpose and belonging. That's what I hate as a NEET, not having any sense of purpose or belonging. I'm always on the outside trying to get in. But I think my own shitty personality is largely to blame for it.