Feel I wasted my piousness, chastity and virginity on a lustful man who I now consider divorcing

I was deceived. I thought I was marrying a pious man who respected women and saved himself for marriage. While he did not sleep with anyone he would get off to a new woman every day. To me that is not saving yourself for marriage if you have a sex life with thousands of women. We spoke out this topic of porn and masturbation. I said I do not condone any porn in my marriage it’s zina and find porn users undesirable (as most of us do). I asked kindly for him to stop talking to me if he does or ever struggled with this issue. He lied and said he did not said he agreed and it was a major sin. But I found out 4 months into our marriage he was in fact an addict. He would use every night, to help him sleep. And he did while living with me in the same house while I was in another room studying. When I first found out I was extremely upset he saw this and said he felt really bad. The kicker is, that same day he came up stairs after I saw it on the router logs, comforted me THEN goes back down stairs and watched it again to “do one last time”

This really hurt me that he could see how upset I was that he had betrayed me, then in the same hour go watch it again in another room….

This didn’t just happen this one time. He stoped for about a month until I had to return to my home town to see my parents for 5 days. Less than 24 hours I had been gone he watched it again. I caught him as I am very tech savvy and knew how to see, he called me crying and said to give him another chance. Less than an hour after he watched it AGAIN….

I said I was leaving him and he was crying and crying asking for one more chance (after the other 5) he downloaded blockers, tracking etc and hasn’t been able to access it since. I’ve been trying really hard to move on from the betrayal of all this to the point I just want to be set free. I just don’t want to worry about what his doing while I’m gone, he works at home while I start in the office this week to a job I’m very happy to have but I know I just am going to worry about what his doing at home. And I just don’t want to do it anymore. The damage had been done. I can’t see him the same anymore and I’ve been trying to get back to how it was but it’s been like 8 months and I haven’t made any progress in my trust, in how I see him and being able to see having kids and a future with him.

Now I feel like I’m stuck because I gave him my virginity. I feel like he never deserved it and I should have given it to a faithful and honest man. I really don’t want to feel this way and have a happy marriage but the hurt and resentment runs really deep for how I was treated. Now I battle with the thoughts of my security during child birth and pregnancy. I can’t imagine having such damage and changes happening to my body while he watches fit / not pregnant women during my most vulnerable moments in my life. It makes me not want to have kids with him at all.

Now I feel like most are like this as I read more about this issue. They say every man does it. No matter the religion. It makes me want to just stay away. It’s defeating.

Edit - please stop and don’t DM me.

Edit again - men of this sub please DO NOT dm me telling me to do it with him and post my own porn what is wrong with you? NO BROTHERS MESSAGE ME ugh