Do cis lesbians hate trans women?
Ok so this post might be kinda dumb but it’s honestly bothering me a lot. I’m still very early in my journey with my transition but I have come out to a few very close people that I trust in my life as well as a few people that are in the lgbt community as I don’t really know a lot of people in this community being from a small town in the south and in the military. So I was hoping for advice and support by telling them. A few of the people who I’ve talked to are lesbian and were super happy for me and excited at first. However after we got to talking more and I told them I’m still only attracted to women and am essentially a trans lesbian their whole attitude changed. They had this whole prejudice against that and said I would never actually be lesbian and should probably try to explore a bit more, as lesbians don’t find trans women attractive and that I shouldn’t be flirting with or trying to get with any woman who is lesbian because it would be seen as a lie and they would feel attacked and deceived. This actually really hurt and kinda made me feel very invalidated. Is this how it is all across the community? Will I pretty much never be looked at as a woman who likes women? This is causing me a lot of stress and worry that now I’m seen as damaged goods and pretty much will just be an experiment for some people or never even looked at as attractive. If any of y’all have advice or experiences to share please do so. I’m kinda losing hope from this. (I also would like to add I have not been pursuing anyone or flirting with anyone at all since it’s still so early in my transition and I still basically look like a dude, I just don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable with my presence or appearance.)
TLDR: A few lesbian friends said I’m not lesbian because I’m a trans woman and shouldn’t flirt with cis lesbians because I’m trans. But I’m still only attracted to women. Help.
Edit/Update: Thank you so much everyone for your replies. I didn’t expect to get this many responses but I’m glad y’all did. First I want to say I definitely understand so people have physical preferences and that’s completely ok and I would never expect someone to date or romantically interact with someone they weren’t attracted to for any reason. Also it’s really nice to see a lot of peoples positive experiences with this topic and I’m hopefully looking forward to having a few on my own someday. Second, seeing that as well of some of the advice regarding the 2 people I told. I will more than likely be cutting them off as it seems to just be a them issue and not a community ideal or a me issue. Lastly, just again thank you. It may have been a dumb question but as it sits with my little actual irl experience and interaction most of which has been pretty negative so far, made me question if living a lie wasn’t just the better option. So thanks for the hope and renewed confidence in myself and hopefully my future in a few years when I’m comfortable. I will try to respond to comments in time but this will hopefully do for now as I am pretty busy.