Seriously considering quitting my six figure corporate job to be SAHM - seeking opinions

I am a FTM of a 9 month old boy. For a long time I struggled with the decision of whether or not to have children; at the top of my mind was that I derive a lot of my self worth from my career. Looking back, I think what I was truly trying to grapple with was subconsciously knowing that having children would completely shift my priorities and worldview and I would inevitably be faced with the dilemma of choosing between my children and my career, and knowing in my bones that my children would come first. Before I get into my situation - I know that there are TONS of moms out there that can do it all and that it’s absolutely possible to be an amazing successful working mother. I think what I am coming to terms with is that the mother I am while I am working is not the type of mother that I want to be.

Some background - I come from a lower middle class family. My dad was self-employed while I was growing up and my mom stayed home to take care of my siblings and I. There were a lot of material things we did not have, but we never went without anything we needed and had abundant love. We were on government assistance for a bit, but I didn’t know that until I became an adult. I started working when I was 15 and since then I have always been able to buy what I want, when I want. I worked really hard in school and got a full scholarship to college. I moved out at 18 and worked while in school and had a ton of amazing opportunities in college. After I graduated I started my career in the finance/accounting world, and I have been at a company for the past 8 years where I now make 6 figures in a flexible WFH job where I am very comfortable and love my coworkers and the company I work for. I would say I derive the most satisfaction out of being good at my job and making good money, and not really the actual work that I do. I’m not passionate about accounting and when I try to envision my career 5-10 years down the line, I couldn’t really tell you what my aspirations are because I’m not particularly excited about what I do. I do, however, love that I never have to worry about strict budgeting and not being able to afford things I want to buy (nothing crazy, just like if I want to go out to eat with friends or buy a luxury skincare product or something I know I don’t have to worry about not having the money for it). I also look at my parents financial situation and they were not able to save for retirement, so that is really a source of stress for everyone and I’m fearful of ending up in that situation one day.

I have been with my husband for 12 years and together we have a 9 month old son, our first child. Ever since I got pregnant I have really struggled with what to do in terms of childcare. I really put it off until after he was born and made a huge pro/con list of our different options. What I ultimately landed on that I could stomach was hiring a nanny that would take care of him while my husband and I both work from home. So we are now living in that reality of the nanny taking care of him during the day while we’re squirreled away in our offices working. I get the opportunity to see him throughout the day, but literally multiple times a day I hear him cry or see things she does that I would do differently and I just have this instinctual desire to do it myself. I just want to be home with him as his full time caretaker. I want to be the one teaching him things, taking him to the park, watching him develop. I know I have it so good in my current situation but most days it just feels like it’s not enough. I feel like I sit at my desk for 8 hours a day, soak up the few hours I have with him before and after working, and then have little time to do anything else. I can’t stop thinking about being a SAHM and being able to clean my house, get in a workout, grocery shop and meal prep during the week, bake things, run errands & actually leave the house, go to the library and play groups, and just be with my son.

My husband and I have an incredibly solid relationship; he has a very tight handle on our finances and budget (in an uber responsible way, not like in a controlling way). He has all our finances mapped out and projections for the future and everything. On his income and our savings we can afford to live a modest life and have sufficient retirement savings. We’ll have to reel things in a bit but they’re doable. And the trade off would be me getting to take care of my son full time.

What I really struggle with when grappling with the decision on whether to be a SAHM is that I worked hard to get to where I am today in my career, and I have a promising career ahead of me. I have probably the most flexible situation I could ask for that allows me to see my son during the week. Am I stupid for giving that up? Am I selfish for giving that up? What happens when my child/future children go back to school and I am completely set back in my career/have to start over? My job has given me great opportunities and I’m currently taking on some new tasks; am I letting them down if I decide to leave? Am I letting my nanny down if we decided to let her go? On the other hand – if I have the ability and desire to be my son’s full time caretaker, am I letting him down by not doing that?

I change my mind about every five minutes on this. My husband is fully supportive of whatever I want to do. I don’t have many SAHMs in my circle so I feel like I’m missing a lot of that perspective. I would love to hear opinions/thoughts on this; does anyone out there have a similar experience?