Hate seeing breastfeeding

Ok my kids are 4 and 6 and I have so much newborn crap on my Instagram feed and I always run across videos of moms breastfeeding and it makes me insanely angry. I don't look at the videos and think "aw cute baby that's so sweet." I have almost a hatred towards a the moms and the baby in the video. And I think it's because my breastfeeding journey with my first was so completely shitty and awful and I had to stop at about 3 months. I hate seeing lactation consultants because I live in a very rural place where nobody even told me what a lactation consultant was. I struggles alone, it was heartbreaking and I absolutely HATE seeing other babies breastfeeding. I dont think it's sweet it just fills me with absolute rage. Even after all these years.