How to forgive yourself when others can't

Does anyone have advice for forgiving oneself for doing something that was maybe not ideal but also not totally your fault?

Basically I was in a high pressure situation for several months and asking family for support. Said family was unwilling to offer support and as a result I ran out of options and had someone hospitalised. Now there is repeated blaming and shaming without taking responsibilty for their lack of support. I have apologized to the affected person repeatedly even though I acted on professional advice and still believe I did the only thing I could do in that situation. No one has ever apologized to me for the distress I was in as a result of their willful neglect. My apology and regret has just been used to scapegoat and demonize me further.

Is this discomfort my ego wanting approval? Am I being defensive for not accepting sole responsibilty? Do I need to forgive myself and how do you do that when others are actively and repeatedly blaming and shaming you?