Phases of intense sadness with HIGH libido — unusual pairing?
In approximately May/June this year I went through a "phase" of extremely high libido paired with worsened feelings of sadness/suicide. The feelings came and left in waves for a couple of months, until eventually (thankfully) I felt like I was back to my version of normal with a sex drive that suits me. I was glad that it was over. I told myself that it's good to have a clear mind again, but if the opportunity for suicide ever presented itself, I would take it. Now we're in mid November and I'm unfortunately going through one of those "phases" again, I'm just so confused about everything. Feelings include:
- Extremely increased libido
- Feeling very sad
- Uncontrollable crying (magically only happens at home though)
- Staying in bed all day when I don't have work (only sometimes)
- Suicidal
- (however, sometimes I can't help but focus on the negatives)
- Lack of motivation — nothing new lol
- Sudden energy at night even though I've been awake since early morning and am tired. It's like my body wants me to work night shift but I have never in my life worked nights — also nothing new
- Shame about sex
- Daily "life" unaffected (e.g. still go to work and put on a brave face even though I don't want to)
Note, I don't feel like my sexual behaviour is out of control (I can still control it). I just feel intensely in the mood and that's caused me to do a few things that I wouldn't normally do. I look back and cringe/feel ashamed.
Also, I'm not sure if it's related, my period is late, feels like I might even skip this month. Unfortunately I don't remember how it was during the last phase. 100% not pregnant, by the way. The reason I know I'm certainly not pregnant is because, on top of all this, I'm a bit socially awkward/anxious, and despite this libido increase, I haven't recently had physical sex.
I've done some googling and most information I read suggests that feeling down decreases libido, but in these "phases" I experience the opposite. Heightened sadness and higher libido. Has anyone heard of this?
Thanks in advance.