The KarmicDaoist
[Playbook Strategy] The KarmicDaoist - A Legendary Sword Ride in NYC (Inspired by Barney Stinson's Playbook)
⚠️beware cause you might be blown away with how awesome it is.
It is highly recommended to listen to Mozart's Turkish March
https://youtube.com/watch?v=n__ucBtl4LM&si=8SySfnFP7pFRFTPf
Objective: Convince a girl in NYC that you're a mystical Chinese Daoist on a karmic journey who needs her help to "restore the balance of the cosmos" by joining you for an epic (and steamy) sword ride.
And it's gonna be LEGEN----- wait for it-
Step 1: The Setup
Wardrobe:
Flowing robes that scream ancient wisdom.
Fake jade pendant, bamboo hat, and kung fu slippers (bonus points for authenticity).
Props:
A prop sword (foam or wooden — safety first!). Engrave random Chinese characters (they don’t need to make sense).
A pouch of “dragon breath beads” (just candy).
Research:
Memorize vague Daoist sayings like:
“The river flows, but the fish chooses the stream.”
“Only those who balance the yin can embrace the yang.”
Step 2: The Encounter
Find yourself a busy spot in NYC — Times Square, Central Park, or outside a bubble tea shop.
Pretend to meditate dramatically with the sword across your lap.
Wait for your target to walk by, then dramatically "sense" her energy. Whip your head up and gasp:
“It’s you! The chosen one!”
Step 3: The Prophecy
Approach her with a mix of awe and urgency.
Explain that you’ve been on a 1,000-year journey to find the Reincarnated Jade Phoenix (which is her, obviously) to complete the Cycle of the Eternal Sword.
You: “Your aura… it radiates the karmic glow of the Jade Phoenix. Do you feel it? The weight of destiny calling to you?” Her: "What?" You: “Don’t fight it. The Dao flows through you. I must guide you through the ritual of the Blade Dance to restore cosmic harmony!”
Step 4: The Sword Demonstration
Show off some ridiculous sword moves — a mix of kung fu movie clichés and whatever you vaguely remember from “The Karate Kid.”
End with a dramatic bow and declare:
You: “The sword has chosen you, Jade Phoenix. Ride with me on this karmic journey!”
If she’s skeptical:
You: “Doubt is the greatest enemy of balance. Trust the Dao, for it has brought us together.”
Step 5: The Close
Hand her your sword and ask her to “feel the weight of her destiny.”
Use this opportunity to guide her hands on the sword (this is where the sparks start to fly).
Tell her that only together can you “ride the sword into the celestial heavens and restore balance.”
You: “Are you ready to embrace your cosmic purpose, Jade Phoenix?” Her: (If she says yes) “The Dao smiles upon us both!” 😉
Cue the sexy sword ride into the karmic sunset.
Notes:
If she’s not buying it, pull a “You’ve passed the test!” and invite her for drinks to "continue your mystical teachings."
The key is commitment. Stick to the bit like Barney Stinson — confidence, absurdity, and charisma make the play legendary.
Final Daoist Advice:
“The path to the ultimate sword ride begins with one ridiculous lie.”
DARY
LEGENDARY