I'm questioning my relationship since I didn't want to kiss my girlfriend.

Hello everyone, I (F 22) identify as asexual. I have had relationships with men and women, and find sex to be disturbing and uncomfortable. I do however very much enjoy kissing and physical touch. I like being physically close with my partners, without the nakedness.

With all my previous partners, I have always wanted to kiss them, and I enjoyed it. I've even kissed people without dating them. I enjoy cuddling and hand holding, and other forms of physical touch. So on to the current predicament.

My girlfriend (F 19) and I have known each other for a while online before meeting in person. We decided to date after the first in person meeting. The first time I met her, it was amazing! We had lots of the same interests, and a similar sense of humor. I haven't laughed that much in years. I loved being in her presence. I didn't hold her hand or kiss her that day, and honestly the thought never even crossed my mind. I was thinking about it later, and realized that I should have wanted to do those things, but chalked it up to being nervous on the first date.

That was several months ago. We have been long distance dating the entire time, and I feel like we are very close. I enjoy romancing her, and feel very much like I could marry her one day. Then a few weeks ago we met up in person again. I was excited to see her and was anticipating the feelings of wanting to be close to her. But they didn't happen. I felt no desire to hold her hand while we were at dinner or while I was driving. At the end of the night when I dropped her off at home, we hugged for a while. All other times, this is when I kissed my partners. I looked at her and kept waiting for the urge to kiss her. But it never came. We ended up just hugging again, and then I drove the several hours home.

I'm very confused and conflicted. Are we just friends? Am I not gay? But I've enjoyed things with women before. Should I break it off? Should I try to see if I still like kissing, just not kissing her? Should I keep trying and work on our relationship? I haven't mentioned any of this to her as I don't want to hurt her feelings and make her thing that she is gross or undesirable. She is a beautiful woman, and I like looking at her, but that is where the physical attraction ends. I feel like a horrible girlfriend for not having these feelings. I could use some advice, thank you!

TLDR: I met with my long distance girlfriend and found that I didn't want to kiss her, and didn't have the urges I normally have with my partners. I'm confused about what to do next