Embarrassed.

So I am 20... And I am fluent in sign language because I used to have deaf friends. Well I got chronically I'll over the summer during a work vacation at a summer camp. I ended up in the hospital that's why I came back. Every month since then I have had at least two ear infections a month. Think. August to January. At least 12 most being in my right ear. Currently I have another one. I can not hear hertz below 1000 or above 14000 according to an online test.... So my doctor is sending me to an audio doctor(I forget what they're called) but I feel like I'll need hearing aids at least for my right ear. Because it sounds like everyone's mumbling or whispering and all that. I feel really guilty for saying this and even thinking or feeling it. But the only thought is what if the hearing aid is lucky. What if people judge me or think of me differently. What if what if what if.... I decided to come on reddit for help. I've gone through so many changes because of this new illness and I can't take it. I lost over 100 pounds. I don't grow hair on my legs. My blood doesn't circulate good in my thighs. I use a cane to walk I get winded easy I'm on so many medications. I'm just done. I went from my dream body to just feeling worthless. Are hearing aids as bad as my mind is saying they'll be? I'm at a loss I feel like a little kid.