Unpopular opinion: SF was not as selfish as judge drama

In my opinion both sides are reasonable but I don’t get how SF was more selfish than Marshall taking position as judge. They could have tried to do SF long-distance but instead Marshall gave her ultimatum. Meanwhile with the judge they couldn’t really try long distance since they had kid together, therefore he made decision about his wife and their kid life meanwhile Lily could only about hers if not for Marshall’s ultimatum.