It Happened To Me! A HBH Recipe

Well, I mean, recipe fail can't possibly be a surprise here, can it? I took five minutes out of my life to make the 5 Minute Chocolate Chunk Banana Bread Mug Cake from 2021 and now I badly wish I hadn't.

Mug cakes are not like, traditionally great baking or anything, but they had a real moment in like....I want to say, 2015-2016? Then they've been sort of floating around in the zeitgeist ever since. For obvious reasons they have never been insanely popular (hint: cause they're usually pretty bad and only hit the spot if you are DYING for something sweet). I must say if you are going to exit this life without something sweet, you would be better off just eating the chocolate that goes into this thing by itself.

As I have mentioned before: I am not a professional, but I am an experienced and comfortable home cook and baker. I have made many many excellent meals and baked goods. I am baking a loaf of truly awesome dill and onion bread RIGHT NOW. So this fail is not because I'm incompetent in the kitchen, I know how to measure ingredients and follow a recipe. It's because the recipe is trash.

If you would like to make actual good banana bread, I will recommend the greatest banana bread recipe ever, the Beaver Club Banana Bread from the Queen Elizabeth Hotel in Montreal. My mom got this recipe when my parents honeymooned in Montreal and I grew up thinking this is how banana bread should be. It's slow-baked in a 275-degree oven for 2 1/2 hours, your house smells like heaven afterwards, and it develops this intensely sticky and delicious top. It's a little sweet without being truly cake-y, amazing with butter, and freezes beautifully. If you don't trust me or don't have that much time, my other go-to is Smitten Kitchen's Jacked-Up Banana Bread. Also delicious and more traditional, and also goes GREAT with a handful of chocolate chips mixed in, or peanut butter chips, or a little bit of shredded coconut.

Anyway, I got off track there for a minute just because I'm putting off making this. But I'm going to do it, for Science, and because I have a half-rotted banana that went back and forth to work with me several times this week and it is ready to die. This is as good of a destiny as getting dropped in the parking lot, which was probably a real possibility.

If you’re on the healthy January trend and you still want something sweet to enjoy on a Friday night or over the weekend, this is 100% your recipe.

The health of this is debatable AT BEST.

I made it a few years back and it’s one of the handfuls of recipes I actually make on repeat.

I thought everything she made was a family favourite that got requested over and over again? Honestly, I don't understand this. There are simply not enough meals the week to both cook a new recipe every single day (not even to mention TEST a new recipe, but we all know that doesn't happen) AND make the "family faves I make over and over again!" Come on. Be for real.

And finally, my third source of inspiration? No one other than my mom. She’s all about a low sugar, healthified dessert.

Sigh. Yeah I bet, dude.

So, here we are, and the verdict? Better than I’d pictured in my head. The banana within these cakes is the real secret. Wel…the banana and all those chocolate chunks. Obviously.

I wouldn't really call the banana a secret when it's a banana bread...mug...cake....

This isn’t a cake you want to eat leftover, it’s meant as a quick chocolate fix. It should be eaten right away and preferably with a small pat of butter, a drizzle of honey, and a sprinkling of sea salt on top.

Okay, I'm already kind of confused about whether we're making banana bread, or a mug cake. Banana bread I agree can frequently be enjoyed with some butter on top! Banana cake is legit one of my favourite cakes but....please don't put butter on my serving, thank you? And also salt? What is being recommended here and why? (Have you ever had banana cake with cream cheese frosting? It is SO GOOD, for real.)

Calories Per Serving: 788 kcal

I actually had to stop and check the math on this one because my lord. My count actually came up to about 650, which while still impressively high, is lower than this? I don't even know how you could get the count this high.

All right. I measured out all my ingredients, mashed up my banana, and there's...a whole egg in here. That's a lot of egg? This looks like I'm making a banana fritter. Also I didn't have chocolate chips but I chopped up a little bit of a Dairy Milk mini bar I had hanging around and put that in there, so good enough. I also feel like a 1/4-c of chocolate chips is a lot for a mug cake, and I like chocolate. I also used butter instead of coconut oil, because that's what I had, and maple syrup instead of honey, because I'm low on honey and I have a half liter of maple syrup in the fridge. And AP flour instead of "whole wheat pastry flour" because that's what I have. What is the chokehold that whole-wheat pastry flour has on this woman? Is she aware that different types of flour are good for different things? I know the answer to that is no. Going to pop it in the microwave now.

Microwave on full power for 1 minute and 35 seconds to 2 minutes (I always do 1 minute 35 seconds, but it's better to under "bake").

Followed 1 sentence later with:

Microwave: every microwave is very different, so results may vary slightly. I have a 1200 watt microwave and found 2 minutes to be the perfect cooking time. You may need to cook 1 minute 45 seconds or 2 minutes 15 seconds. Start with 2 minutes.

So what is the perfect cooking time? 1 minute 35 seconds, or 2 minutes? How can you start with 2 minutes but suggest it's better to be under- than over-baked? Surely if it's better to be underdone you'd start with 1min30 then go up from there in 15-second increments? I feel like I'm shrieking into the void here but it's fine. I'm putting it in for 2 minutes, fuck it.

Oh god. It's swollen enormously over the top of my mug and then...instantly crashed back down again. Which is fine, I suppose, but I have to say it didn't look terrible appealing????

I should have been concerned instantly when I saw ONE WHOLE EGG in this recipe. Why did I keep going at that point? I wish I knew. Like, you don't actually need THAT much egg as a binder. The SK recipe I mentioned above calls for two eggs against FIVE times as much banana and EIGHT TIMES the flour. The Beaver Club recipe calls for four eggs and makes two loaves. One whole egg in this mug cake was asking for trouble the second I cracked it into the bowl and started thinking "this kind of reminds me of making scrambled eggs." Lord, I kept going. I microwaved it for two full minutes because I was losing interest in this five-minute recipe.

This was...what was this? This was an experience. How is it so flavourless and yet salty? It's not a positive experience. There is too much baking soda (again, SK calls for one teaspoon for something eight times the size, this recipe needs a half teaspoon for some ungodly reason), so it rises high in the microwave then immediately collapses. I didn't expect very much when it came out of the microwave but it was amazingly somehow worse than I anticipated. The texture was about what you'd expect from a mug cake (mushy, rubbery, yet also somehow slimy, with occasional bits on top that were cooked to trick you into thinking this is like cake, much like how a urinal cake is also called a cake but bears no resemblance to a real cake), but the flavour. Wow. The flavour was truly atrocious. For starters, it was NOT SWEET, which is basically all I'm looking for out of this monstrosity. A tablespoon of maple syrup is insufficient to sweeten this to cake-like or even banana-bread-like proportions. If you want to argue that hey, it has chocolate chips in it...because of the properties of a microwave cake, all the chocolate will sink to the bottom and melt there. So it's not really the nice even distribution you'd get in a real banana loaf where you can get away with skimping on the sweetener and replacing it with chocolate chips instead.

And it was salty! SO salty. I used unsalted butter and the required 1/4 tsp of kosher salt, but like...that's actually quite a lot of salt for something this size! It is hard as hell to scale down recipes to single servings but this was exceptionally salty. And the egg. Let's address the egg. That is just...it's so much egg in one mug. Obviously this was contributing to the weird rubbery texture but like...come on, dude. This recipe is basically pancakes. You could probably make a fairly decent pancake out of it. Better than a mug cake, at least.

I will be honest with you all, I had about five bites to sample bits from different parts of the mug and then chucked the rest. It was so, so bad. It was simultaneously all of these things: bland, salty, rubbery, mushy, flavourless, slimy, and somehow chewy? And no, I have cooked enough in my life to know that if I used coconut oil, honey, and whole wheat pastry flour as directed, it would not magically have turned out better.

Shall we see if I was the only one who failed to make a decent mug cake?

Lyn says:

Nice and easy recipe but calories add up to 500, not 200 for full recipe.

Are you telling me that originally this was listed as 200 calories???? The chocolate chips and banana alone basically max that out. What the fuck.

This mug cake is so good! I made it for my mom too and she said it’s better than banana bread or banana muffins! Plus so much easier

I swear to God these people have never had good banana bread. Like, it is just not possible to get the correct baked texture in the microwave and I am not slamming the microwave! I use it all the time! But not to bake! Because this is insanity! This makes me so sad for these people who have never in their lives had good banana bread. Or, for that matter, banana cake. Or possibly dessert in general.

Stephanie says:

This was banana quiche.

Thank you, Stephanie, you truth-teller you.

Tieghan replies:

Hey Stephanie, So sorry you did not enjoy the recipe, please let me know if I can help in anyway! xTieghan

This stupid response grates on me badly. How are you going to help once the recipe is made? You're not, because the goal for you, the recipe developer, is to make recipes that WORK. Did you not notice that basically every other mug cake recipe on the Internet DOES NOT INCLUDE EGG? Especially not ONE WHOLE EGG? Like, fuck around with a flax egg or chia seeds or whatever but please Lord deliver us from a whole scrambled egg in a mug with banana mush.

Lori says:

Very tasty but the calorie count is completely wrong. The fact you have been told that and do not correct it is very concerning. If you want a 700 calorie snack…yeah, it’s great. Super disappointing you would mislead your followers.

Tieghan replies:

As stated on every HBH recipe: Nutritional information is only an estimate. The accuracy of the nutritional information for any recipe on this site is not guaranteed. We enter all of the ingredients into an online calorie counter and use the provided information. I hope this makes sense! Have a fantastic week:) xTieghan

I would love to see the calorie counter used and how disconnected from reality it is.

Kate says:

I sort of hate that it’s this easy to make and sooo good! Yes, I am making it a second night in a row but tonight I’m adding peanut butter. The texture was a bit different at first but I didn’t notice it after I ate through the top. Just persevere and you’ll be good. Make this. Your soul will be happy.

I don't care what anyone has to say, I am not making a dessert that requires me to persevere through it. The only struggle I am interested in having with my desserts is cracking through the top of a creme brulee.

Brenda says:

I tried the recipe and it was wow. I will be making it for my friends and family whenever they visit. From now onwards, I will make dessert at home instead of buying it.

Brenda, if you make this recipe for friends and family when they visit, soon they will stop visiting. I know I would.

Emma says:

This had so much potential! I am a lover of all things HBH, so when I saw this quick and easy mug cake recipe, I jumped all over it. Unfortunately it was way too salty!! I would avoid adding the salt all together. I would also suggest adding a bit more maple sirup as I didn’t find it sweet enough (this could be due to the saltiness issue) and I don’t love overly sweet desserts, so that’s saying something. I think that with this adjustments it would be delicious and I will be trying it again soon!

I actually agree with Emma's points except she should not try it again soon. She should find her way to an actual baking blog and try a real recipe.

Tieghan replies:

Hey Emma, Thanks so much for trying the recipe, I am sorry it was not fully enjoyed, let me know how I can help for next time! xTieghan

This just comes across as so fucking disingenuous and bot-like because Tieghan, she TOLD YOU what the problems were! If you were halfway competent instead of stealing recipes you could have suggested some fixes! 

Stephanie says:

hi! love your recipes. How do you test these recipes at high altitude for your followers who do not live at high altitude. I just moved from NYC to Bozeman MT and I definitely have to adjust baking recipes…My recipes fail about 15 percent of the time at the moment. Have you addressed this in your recipes or on this site? I have not noticed, I apologize if you have and I missed it.

Tieghan replies:

Hey Stephanie, I actually don’t adjust my recipes for altitude, you can follow them all as is:) Hope you love the recipe!! xTieghan

I know I have beaten this damn horse to death but this isn't how altitude works. You can't opt out of it. I mean, I guess you can, but you do that by traveling back down to sea level.

David says:

Hi – was so excited to make this for breakfast treat this morning (Saturday) – but it tasted really salty. Maybe i should have just used a pinch? Sad. But i can’t win ‘em all… Onward!

Tieghan replies:

Hey David, Sorry this was salty for you, was there anything you adjusted? Let me know! xTieghan

IT'S TOO SALTY BECAUSE THE RECIPE CALLS FOR TOO MUCH SALT, PROPORTIONALLY!!!! Stop rudely asking people what they did wrong!!!! The thing they did wrong was choosing this fucking recipe in the first place!!!!!!!

Thank goodness I didn't spend more than five minutes or 14 cents on this recipe. But my loss is your gain. Don't cook this. And have a great Saturday.