Lost a bid on a house yesterday. Disappointed and tired of the ups and downs.😞

I posted before on how I am under tremendous pressure to leave my longtime family home due to a difficult family situation with a verbally and emotionally abusive sibling. I am responsible for all of the bills, taxes and so on while still living here, but have yet to find another house after many months of searching.

My dad, with whom I lived in this house until he passed away last summer, left me enough money that within a certain budget and if I wanted to, I could purchase a home with an all-cash offer. I am extremely grateful for that. I know not every homebuyer has that opportunity and I am well aware that I was given an incredible gift. I’d much rather have my dad back than have any extra money, however.

Anyway, when I first started this process last November, I consulted a friend’s mom who has been a realtor for 40-plus years and is someone I thought I could trust. She said she would do whatever she could to help me find a house and seemed genuinely willing to help.

I found a house right away that I really liked and that I wanted to see, but she would not get me a showing and said she didn’t want me to spend that much money on it. It was in a good neighborhood, in good condition and well within my budget — and priced lower than many of the homes I’ve seen recently - and sold within a week. I’m angry that she wouldn’t get me a showing and don’t know why she wouldn’t. I didn’t know or think at the time that I could have just contacted the listing agent myself and gotten in to see it. I guess I figured my friend’s mom knew what she was doing and that I should trust her.

Right after that, my friend’s mom went on a three-week vacation and more or less dumped me on her younger associate. Neither one was terribly available or helpful over the next few months and kept sending me listings that were not what I wanted or wouldn’t get me in to see houses I did want to see. I had very few showings with the associate and she often was slow to respond when I wanted to see a house or tried to discourage me from seeing others. I feel I lost out on several good opportunities because of the lack of communication/availability on their part.

I finally gave up on them and ended up going with an older cousin’s husband who is a realtor and happens to work for the same agency as my friend’s mom and her associate. He has been exceedingly helpful and willing to take me to see whatever house I wanted to see, but I’ve found little in the way of potential homes since we started looking. There haven’t been a whole lot of options between “way too expensive” and “needs too much work.”

I finally found a place a few weeks ago, but lost to a higher bidder. It was a great house, but it wasn’t meant to be.

Then, one listed in my current neighborhood this week, we toured it and I made a cash offer yesterday at full asking price even though it was at the very top of my budget. My cousin-in-law/agent also had me write a letter to the owner, who was I man I knew in passing from when my dog and I were our daily walks in the neighborhood.

I didn’t get the house. This time it was because the other buyer who was interested waived the inspection. My cousin-in-law said he would never recommend a client waive the inspection even if they didn’t plan to ask the seller for a credit or to make repairs.

So I’m back on the hunt and am feeling really down and discouraged. I’ve lost count of how many open houses and showings I’ve been to now and am so sick of looking. Add to that the continued pressure and harassment from my abusive older sibling and it is overwhelming. Renting would be an option for some people in my situation, but I have two large dogs and cannot seem to find a rental that would allow them. Most rental properties where I live do not allow pets or only allow one if it is under 30 pounds.

I realize how lucky I am to be able to make a cash offer, but even that doesn’t seem to be enough anymore. It seems every house is being snapped up by corporations, flippers and rich doctors with money to burn looking to add to their portfolio of rentals/Air B&Bs. There does not seem to be room for regular people just wanting to buy a home to live in.

Just feeling frustrated and like I am never going to find a new house. I’m also angry that I could possibly have avoided all these months of stress and grief had my friend’s mom and her associate been more helpful. I could’ve bought that perfectly move-in ready first house and be living happily and stress-free now.😞