Hope has been killed

Even after breaking up with me ( she’s a fearful avoidant) I still fought until the end and after going no contact I’ve still had hope because I’m stupid and I’m in love, was my first love/ relationship and same for her with me, and I treated her the best so you’d think someone can’t forget about that won’t do you wrong and cos she’s an avoidant will eventually come back to her anxious state and yeh, but nah, I found out that she’s already ‘hitting up’ other guys and I guess going on dates with them, this is after reason she broke up with me is because of the amount of stuff going on in her life and how much stress and worry it’s putting on her, family, studies, everything, and said she can’t commit right now, after her saying she ‘ vows to not bother with another guy ‘ during the period of this as she wanted me still, after I literally brought up about her messaging guys after breaking up ( which indicates she was already talking to them and gives a reason why she said she already was thinking about breaking up a month before she did, basically cheating ) and her lying that she wasn’t, my hope is just gone, I don’t want someone who thinks they can find better than me then come back when they can’t find that, fuck them, I’m not replaceable, I know I wasn’t perfect but I was the best you’ll ever find, you tho, your replaceable, I loved you despite all your fucking problems as I loved you for you and this is how you treat me and our relationship, fuck you