(31M) Question about reconnecting with parent / how to handle

Hi there,

I’m an only child and I stopped talking to or seeing my mom back in 2016. She’s an extremely emotionally immature and manipulative person who used lots of guilt as means of control during my childhood / college years.

My parents are divorced

The estrangement was pretty horrible. Endless guilt from her. Novel length texts, “how could you do this to me?”, calling my dad, sort of threatening suicide by telling my dad about it and then him telling me what she said, parent trap situations with family friends, etc.

Every year the level of contact she attempts differs.

She loves to pretend like everything is cool. all of her social media profile pics are photos of us together. As of a few years ago it was the occasional “how are you” text which I would respond shortly and would never ask about her.

Over the summer she called me and I made the mistake to pick up (I thought it was an emergency or something) She said she wanted to see me, that she would come up to visit if I wanted, etc.

This threw me into a really intense panic attack.

Eventually I texted her back a really long message telling her about my panic attack and that I would maybe consider remotely seeing a therapist with her maybe and she responded with “let’s see one in person. I’ll come up to you”

I ghosted her after that

Like 2 or 3 texts since, but two days ago she reached out again asking if I would be willing to do therapy with her, etc etc. That she wants us to have some sort of relationship “based on empathy and understanding”

Has anyone had luck reconnecting with a parent or had a similar situation to this?

I feel no need to reconnect with her. She’s honestly a really toxic person for me and my life has only gotten better since the estrangement, but it’s just confusing to constantly have to reevaluate this question since she won’t drop it.

Tldr: haven’t seen my mom and have had low contact with her for almost 9 years. She wants to reconnect with a therapist as an intermediary. Help?