Am I stupid?

I’ve tried 5 different birth controls before my lap in April of this year. 3 of them gave me horrible side effects and the other 2 didn’t help any of my endo symptoms. I know there’s so many more I could try but I’m tired of trying meds. I don’t want to be on hormonal birth control. My endo symptoms seem like they are worse than it was before surgery. I feel like each period is worst than the last. I’m in pelvic floor pt, only started two weeks ago so hoping it may bring me some relief in the future. Could my endo be growing back already even though surgery was 7 months ago? Is my endo growing back because I declined hormonal treatment? Idk I feel stupid because I know I could try other birth controls to to try and find relief but I don’t want to. I just want to feel better and I can’t and that is the hardest reality to accept.