never been more infuriated EVER.

possible tw - mention of drinking + anorexia

i opened up to my school about my possible anorexia, and they took it better than expected, my mum however…

i got home a few days later and she comes in about 11pm absolutely shitfaced, slams my door open and immediately goes “i think you should go to your dads, i can’t deal with all of this anymore” and i was so so shocked and hurt to the point i had no words.

we had a long, long argument over it all and eventually she hit out with “i don’t think you have an eating disorder, where’s all the hidden food? i had anorexia i know what it’s like”(she did it to lose weight, i use mine as control). i tried to explain to her what was really going on, she kept asking what made me think i have an ED, but i couldn’t even get those words out because she’s so damn hard to talk to when she’s drunk. she’s also now got my step dad going to talk to me about all of this, but i’m not ready for that i haven’t even accumulated the words to explain what’s going on in my brain and i am beyond scared.

now i don’t have a chance for a GP appointment, not that i was looking forward to it, but i was looking forward to recovery. i feel like ive been flung back about 10 steps in any form of recovery, now i can’t see life without this disorder.

getting to my dads at this time isn’t possible, and i don’t have a safe space up at his, so i messaged my uncle and he’s willing to take me in. i have exams in a few days and im wondering if it’ll be worth it to stay with him for a while?