Drumming to a metronome versus drumming to recorded music.

Hello everybody! I’ve been playing drums for the better part of 30 years. Mostly solo I’ve been in a handful of bands. A few years ago, I asked if I could jump in and play a song with my friends band, we had jammed together before and had a great time. But he said that I wasn’t tight enough, and I admit that I forgot that it was his bands first live show ever . Pretty arrogant of me to figure that I could just jump in and play a song with them when they’ve been rehearsing this for months. Anyways, I got a little bit butt hurt and haven’t really played a drum set since. My confidence was shaken. I air drum at home and at work all the time. I will even sit down in front of a stand mirror in my living room to try and play subdivisions by Rush. That last part of the finale solo chokes me out every time. For the better part of my time being a drummer, I’ve always played with recorded music on headphones or through speakers and sometimes both. I’ve played with a metronome before, but of course it’s just not as enjoyable. I was wondering what everybody’s opinion is on if playing to recorded music is similar to playing to a metronome. Or if there is some fatal flaw to that idea. I think you all in advance! And I’m going to start playing again very soon. I have to shake the rust off.