i am officially psychotic

yesterday, worst thing ever. i feel like i’m being watched constantly. people call my name but i’m alone. i can’t stop. if i try i feel horrible. i stole my moms meds🤦🏾‍♂️. when my mom picked up a bottle of dp h i got so happy and it made my day. a bottle of damn sleep aid🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️. the feeling of not being able to controls your body is so amazing for me and i can’t go without it. if i even smoke weed it’s like a mini trip. i have a lot in my life and i rly don’t want to lose anything. but i don’t see me stopping anything anytime soon.