I’m the girl who’s boyfriend recommended her to do heroin with him

I took all of your guys comments in consideration. I (20F) showed my boyfriend (25M) all of your comments and he just laughed and said “baby I was joking” I don’t want you all strung out. To me he sounded so serious so I don’t understand why he did that or would even joke around like that to me. I feel embarrassed getting myself all worked up over a joke. We ended up snorting some lines together and falling asleep. I made that post a week ago so not much happened after that. He is adamant about not doing anything heavier than cocaine. I have a therapy appointment next week and a psychiatrist appointment in January in regards of getting my anxiety in check. Thank you for all of your guys support and tips on to manage it. I’ve been going on lots of hike and having lots of sex to release my stress and anxiety (tmi ik) oh ya and FUCK HEROIN