more than idolaters

Have you ever thought about going a step beyond just worshiping demons and trying to become one of them? I've felt this desire, this calling since I was little, when I knew nothing about demons or magic... If anyone has any information that could help me in this calling of mine, such as some condition that one needs to meet to be considered a demon, something that differentiates demons from other entities, someone you know who has already walked the path that I intend to follow from now on and what he did and does, how demons are born or what metamorphosis they went through to become what they are... it would be of great help and I think that of all the people I've talked to, you are the only ones who have a chance of understanding what I feel.