I've been dying to talk about Chuggington.

My son was OBSESSED with Thomas the Tank Engine, and that eventually led to us having to watch Great Value Thomas, Chuggington. While Thomas is fairly grounded, Chuggington is batshit and makes no sense on any level.

First of all, we have trains of all ages. There are baby trains, which are smaller, and elderly trains. How do the trains reproduce? Are they built? If they're built, how do the trains grow? Or if you're built tiny, is that just IT? You're stuck that way forever?

But what I really want to talk about is Action Chugger. First of all, Chugger seems like the kind of thing that I should NOT be allowed to say in a "that's OUR word" sort of way, but here we are.

So Action Chugger has rockets and he's also apparently a movie star? Who gave him the rockets? Was he built to be a movie star? Or did he just do this on his own? Did he grow the rockets in the same way that other trains grow? What is the mechanism?

Also, Action Chugga makes movies but they just sort of film him flying. That's not a movie, that's a YouTube Video called "This Train Can Fly???" with a person looking shocked in the thumbnail and multiple ads in the video for Postmates.

I had to watch this piece of shit show from beginning to end TWICE for my son. TWICE. He's now 12. When he starts being a little shit I remind him that I watched this with him so he owes me.