God failed me

I wanted to learn it! I believed in it! I just wanted to be able to go to church but my family always disagreed. Yesterday two ladies from a church came because I sold them socks. They gave me the address of the church and said I must join. It looked like I was able to join because for the first time my father seemed alright. But my mother said she fears it and I can not go to the church! God could have helped me! He chose to not help. I just wanted to be able to learn about him but he looked at me in the eye and smiled that’s it!!! I am still here writing this because I want to believe in it but I am angry to him. Got any reasons I should continue believing in him