Im very scared.

Hello. I am a teen and I struggle quite badly with mental health, i don't have anyone I can reach out too, nor the ability to get professional help. I'm really really tired and too be honest I don't want to live anymore. I screw up constantly (not only with sins and stuff but just in general) i don't fit in and I'm awkward i feel like my friends hate me and are angry at me. I feel like im never going to get any better. I pray in many different ways, i go to mass whenever I'm able (I can't drive by myself yet) I'm in classes to make my first reconciliation, communion, and confirmation over the span of a year and 6 months. However I still struggle immensely. The only reason I haven't taken my is because of my younger sister and because I think I'll go to hell, and I'm so scared I'm going to hell, i just want to be in heaven with Jesus and not suffer anymore, but I don't think I'll ever get to. I'm just so afraid. Thanks for reading any advice is welcome.