I’ve started to lean more avoidant after years of anxious attachment. Anyone relate? What did you do?

Since I’ve known about attachment styles, i’ve been certain I have a fearful-avoidant style, but I definitely leaned more anxious. Basically in any kind of romantic situation I was going to get super attached and disturbed by the potential for the relationship to end. Except the relationships I had where the guy really liked me. In that situation, I always became super avoidant, closed off, unable to get honest and intimate. But on the whole, I leaned anxious.

I got sober over 3 years ago and since then I haven’t dated, initially out of fear of how I get and how that could compromise my sobriety, but over time I’ve just not really wanted to date other people or develop intimate friendships. Not necessarily that I don’t want it in the abstract but I’m just so averse to the vulnerability it takes to get there that I’m not willing.

I have noticed certain avoidant traits which I’m sure were there but I never noticed before, like for example when someone likes me too much I feel revulsion for them. Like literal dread and disgust at the idea of talking to them. And i’ve been working on walking through this, but I never noticed how strong it was before.

Anyone have experience with this? How did you face your fear of vulnerability? What is your experience like being avoidant?