When the hell did everyone become so flakey?

No less than 90% of women will either ghost me, stand me up or (more respectfully) tell me they aren't interested just before our date. Most won't even respond to my messages in fact.

And I'm picky - I only swipe right on about 1 in 50 women I think I seem compatible with

No matter how alike we seem, how good our conversation is going, I know there's a slim chance we actually end up meeting. We can be talking about our favorite local bands and an upcoming gig we both plan on going to so I start to think damn maybe I've found a really cool person here, sure enough they stop responding or never reply to my message to confirm our date.

You might think it must be something I'm saying, maybe I'm too boring or too intense, but I don't think so, I'm respectful and engaging the same way I've always been.

But It never used to be this way.

In 2018/19 if I matched with someone there was probably about a 50% chance we would end up having a date unless we really had no conversational chemistry

And they would pull their weight in conversation rather than putting the onus on me to do all of the lifting

What changed?

I'm looking for the same thing - a long term relationship - and the women I'm now matching with are a few years older and presumably more serious about meeting someone so I don't understand why this is happening.

You could say everyone is burned out with dating apps but being fickle is like putting out a fire with gasoline, its a self fulfilling prophecy. And some of these women must be new to the apps in which case they have no reason to be so jaded with them already.

I don't even feel a scintilla of excitement when I get a match nowadays...not even when we plan a date. Not until I see them with my own two eyes, and even then I've been ghosted after dates that I thought were great so I never really get excited about anything anymore.

I don't want to get too gloomy about it but something has fundamentally changed in the past 5 years and I'm not sure what it is or what to do about it besides gritting my teeth and pressing on with OLD as well as focusing on meeting people in person too

Bonus question: how should a guy flirt on a dating app without coming across as too eager or sexual? I usually avoid outright compliments because they seem like something a guy would do if he was trying to finesse a girl into sleeping with him asap but maybe I'm not being flirtatious enough. I thought just having fun conversation was enough to get the point across that you're interested in them.