i messed up

Well let me start this with saying i’m so ashamed. I’ve been with my girl for over a year and this might be the end. The reason for this fight she found me on tinder. it’s not what you think i was never actively using it or searching for others. i never updated it or matched with others. it was simply a way i tried to cope with things. Such as when she went hours without texting me it hurt me because i know she was with the phone and i was always wondering why she went hours and hours. i was just there for christmas and it ended on a okay note. I helped her move again and did all the things a loving boyfriend would do. Another incident when i got it was when she was at a bar and didn’t text me the entire night. i felt abused and sad because i put in so much effort with texting non stop and she wasn’t doing the same. For all the effort put in the one thing i asked for was to text more because of the distance. again there was no ill intentions besides me getting upset and worried and trying to justify myself with something else. Almost as a back up. You do this to me im doing this back. this is a bad way for a mindset. I have very bad trust issues because of my past relationship and i know i overthink and make up my own scenarios. i get very jealous because i know the way she acts drunk and out and when she doesn’t text i feel terrible. So she is absolutely crush and i feel awful. I’m guilty but i feel like not to guilty because nothing sexual ever occurred or happened with another person. We were very close neither of us had a closer relationship. I spent all this time helping her over the summer i was with her for 3 months in another state. So basically I’m crush and she is crushed over my poor decisions. I’m not sure if she wants to end it or try to work it out and i should just give her time to think. I tried to already do things and make it up to her but it’s so fresh. I understand how she feels and i don’t blame her at all. I wish I told her but again i never thought really anything wrong with it because nothing ever occurred. But i don’t think she believes me because I didn’t tell her this. So she might of thought i did stuff. So im a pickle and really just need some guidance and some people to talk to.