I can’t live like that!
Hi there. Broke up with a person. He told me "you will be safe with me, I promise", "I'm not like other guys". I love him genuinely! We met online, started a long-distance relationship, saw each other a few times. Yes, we had our issues, but in general, I thought "yes, finally! He's the one!". And he told me strong words! He even proposed to me, through text though, and then "yes, someday I will marry you and start a family with you" or "yeah, not the right time, before that we need to do a lot of things". He had a tough life, I was there for him! I really was scared to lose him, because he had his issues and I was there for him! I trusted him, i accepted him with all his flaws, he could be with me just as it is. But then I found out that RIGHT before me he talked to one girl. And he still waited for her. "I waited as a friend. It was ok talked to her friendly". But when I first mentioned that he said "autistic woman?! I always felt something was off". And now I'm questioning all our relationship. Did he even like me? Because there were many complicated signs during this "relationship". And also, I was broke af! But still, I sacrificed my finances for him so that we could meet each other. And then I got "You didn't do enough!" or "Why didn't you tell me about your finances?", but I told! I told from the start! He told me such strong words! He promised me so many things! But it all was a lie! I really accept him as it is, I really was for him in dark times, i really was ready to help further. I told him "I see the relationship as friends during the day, therapists during tough times, lovers at night, that's how I see it". And he "Yes, sounds like a good plan". BUT YOU LIED TO ME THIS WHOLE TIME!!! YOU HID SO MANY THINGS FROM ME BUT WAITED GENUINE CONNECTION AND HONESTY?!
If not my daughter i already would kill myself. I don't have anyone because i moved to another country a few years ago and my kid had some issues so i didn't have time for socialization. I don't have money yet on therapy, I don't talk to my family because they are really toxis and abusive. I'm all alone! I'm scared af even if i understand that that person manipulated me many times, hid stuff, lied, was pushy, etc, but he promised!!!! He promised!!!!! I trusted!!! I believed!!!!! I'm so scared and it's so f hard!! I'm dying literally! I gave everything i had and even more! I sacrificed my job, money, time and he said "you did nothing". I'm just dying and i want to rip off my heart. Gosh why? Gosh I'm ready! I want a normal life! But i swear....i just can't believe I can meet someone anymore.