Lost

It’s been about about a month, although me and this only dated a month we had known each other for over 3 years and were best friends. We had been through a ton of things together and we had built up trust and loyalty. I miss my friend more than the relationship. We broke up because she said I was too much, I do realize I wasn’t perfect. My biggest regret was not thinking about our anniversary, I had been so focused on the moment I forgot what day we had gotten together. I was too much and caused too many problems, even though I tried to be as loving and supportive as I possibly could. I didn’t approve of her friend, who would constantly try to set her up with other guys while we were together so I felt like that was reasonable and all I got from that was I didn’t understand how her friend had bettered her life. This led me to develop a bit of mistrust and she said I should just trust where she is and what she’s doing and trust her. I asked to simply just let me know where she was going and her plans. I thought that was normal relationship stuff. I’m 19 yrs, I have no clue what to do, I feel like I have lost the loml even though she had definitely changed, it just hurts that all I did was my best and it wasn’t enough. I’m struggling with figuring out what I did that was so horrible that she had to break my heart over, yes we were in different places in our lives but only two years apart, I was willing to take action and support anything she wanted too. I often bought her flowers and made baskets for her when things like her period happened. My feelings hadn’t faded once since we met, it takes everything I have to not call or text her. I struggle to get out of bed sometimes and I get in these episodes where I can’t do anything. She was the one thing I had always relied on, we told each other everything and she knew more about me than anyone. I’ve tried talking to different girls but no one’s her Yknow? It’s a lot of effort to put in that time to get to know someone knew. It’s ruined country music for me and so many other things. I just don’t know what to do?