broken up with a little over two hours ago after 4 years.

I wish he did something awful so I could hate him, but I do understand and I know it probably is for the best, I just don’t want to admit it to myself. We are codependent. We’re still pretty young, both 23. We have a lot of issues with ourselves. He says he wants us both to work on loving ourselves and becoming the most healthy versions so our future relationships (romantic or not) can be healthier. It hurts really fucking bad. I feel so all over the place, not sure exactly why I felt compelled to hear when I do have friends and family I can reach out to, but it feels right. I’m not sure what this means for me and I’m scared. I won’t reach out, but he’s all I want. He’s the comfort I seek. I have pretty extreme anxiety. I’m still in denial and shock and I am feeling everything all at once. I still love him so much. It just really sucks.