Syphilis during pregnancy

Hello everyone, this is my first time being in this group. I wanted to post on here bc I currently can’t stop crying and I feel so defeated.

I’m 23 years old, we tried getting pregnant for two years straight but had no luck up until March. I finally got pregnant and was extremely grateful to God for allowing me to carry life. My boyfriend was so happy he couldn’t stop hugging and crying.

I always pictured my pregnancy to be a smooth experience. Around my 14 week mark, I went to my clinic for blood work and they told me I was borderline “thyroid” issues. I wasn’t sure what was happening but I felt horrible. My boyfriend told me everything was going to be okay. He’s the only reason as to why I’ve been so strong during my pregnancy.

When I turned 20 weeks pregnant they did my second ultrasound, the doctor told me that the amniotic fluid was “ehh”, I asked her to specify but she didn’t do a good job at specifying at all. My boyfriend straight up told her “What you said didn’t make any sense, is there something wrong or not? If there is something wrong please tell us clearly”. She told us that she was concerned about gestational diabetes based off the ultrasound but that she wasn’t sure so she wanted us to return next week for another ultrasound. I was stressed because not only did she tell me I was borderline thyroid but now I might have gestational diabetes.

I was extremely worried but I kept telling myself it was because I was lacking in my part of drinking enough water. Ever since that week I took my health and water intake seriously. My boyfriend was extremely encouraging and helping me by reminding me to drink water. A week passed by, I was 21 weeks and we returned to the clinic for the ultrasound. I was confident everything was going to be okay because I was eating clean and drinking a lot more water. Up until it wasn’t. The lady that did my ultrasound asked me “are you okay with a transvaginal ultrasound? I just want to check something” I said yes even tho I was immediately concerned. I asked her if there was anything wrong and she said she’s just checking. I looked at my boyfriend and could see that he was concerned as to why she did a transvaginal ultrasound. They sent us to another room where my doctor entered and told me “the baby is fine but I am going to send you to the hospital, you cervix is too short and it could be funneling”. I tried to stay calm but I asked her if it was something extremely serious and she said “very seirous, go to the hospital right now, the main doctor and your midwife will be there waiting for you in the 4th floor”.

As soon as we walked out of the clinic, I broke down. I cried so much and my boyfriend told me he would take care of me and that everything will be okay. I have never been in the hospital before for anything at all. Never had broken bones, never had emergencies, never had a reason to be at the hospital up until then. At the hospital they did blood work and another ultrasound. The doctors told me my cervix was too short and that they usually do medication to start with but since mine was extreme, my only choice was to get an emergency cerclage procedure. A cerclage procedure is where they stitch your cervix shut to prevent the baby from coming out too early. The doctors did tell me there was a huge risk involve which was “if we accidentally puncture or cut the sac your baby is in, amniotic fluid will come out and you will go to preterm labor and give birth” I asked what were the chances of my baby surviving if that were to happen. They immediately told me “She wouldn’t survive at 21 weeks old”. I was such an emotional wreck, I felt as if I failed to be a mom already bc I had an incompetent cervix. They ended up making me sleep on the hospital bed upside down so my cervix can stay where it needs to be.

The next day at 7am they did the procedure on me while I was awake. I felt them put a big needle in my back and I couldn’t stop shaking afterwards. The good thing was that the cerclage was a success. They did let me know that I could not have sex anymore until I get the cerclage removed at 36 weeks. I was very sad but I 100% gave up sex for my baby’s health. I also had to be on bed rest for a long time.

I thought everything was going to be okay now since I had the surgery done. What else could I worry about?

At 23 weeks, a man left a letter at my front door, he was from the health department. It was a tiny note telling me to call a lady at the health department immediately. They close at 3. I didn’t see the note til 5. I called her the next day (Today), the lady told me quickly that I tested positive for Syphilis whenever I did blood work at the hospital. I asked her how is this possible? How come I wasn’t told anything by anybody up until now? Was it a mistake?. She asked me if I’ve been with anybody other than my partner and I told her no. She asked me if I knew anybody my partner has been with recently and I told her I have no idea. I couldn’t stop crying.

My boyfriend and I had a serious talk. He asked me immediately if I have been with body other than him during our relationship and I told him No. He seemed extremely sad but he believes me. He couldn’t stop crying but I asked him the same question and he told me he hasn’t been with anybody at all. I believe him, he has never done anything to make me think he’s a liar. He is going to go with me so I can get retested, he also wants to get tested.

I read online that you can have syphilis for years without having symptoms. I’m getting scared that my past is finally catching up to me. I used to sleep around with different men right before I met my current boyfriend. I was a broken girl who didn’t care what would happen. I regret everything I did during that time and now I’m paying the price. I feel hopeless and I keep putting my baby in danger. I don’t know how much longer I can continue to be like this. I just want my baby to be safe and I want to have a good pregnancy but I feel like everything keeps getting harder and harder for me.