I've turned into a bad person.

When my ex cheated and midnight moved out of our shared house they left the majority of their belongings.This was the end of summer. A whole house worth of furniture, appliances and personal/sentimental items. After 30 days they became legally abandoned.

I never got rid of any of it. I was too depressed and overwhelmed. I just cleaned up where he had a tantrum and trashed our home. I tried to continue on as best I could.

Mid December (after NC) he wants to grab some stuff and I let him know I kept the important stuff. Throwing it out felt mean/wrong. Vindictive even.

Anyway he wants to meet up after the holidays. Yeah, okay. Sounds good.

I had to follow up with this man several times. Super annoying but not the end of the world. A week or so back he keeps asking when he can come to the house and I keep explaining to him that due to his previous actions (trashing it, making a mess, and calling cops, yada yada) that is not going to happen but I'll meet somewhere public and drop off whatever he wants.

However, I would appreciate it if he would acknowledge that I am extending a kindness to him and going out of my way. This wasn't something I had to do just because he wanted me to. I was trying to be decent.

Having a conversation with this man even to confirm logistics is damn near impossible. Apparently I'm supposed to just know what he wants, pack it all up myself and deliver it silently so he can continue to avoid facing reality?? Without so much as a "Hey, that didn't play out so well and I'm sorry. Thanks for doing this."

Like why am I supposed to plan this out and do all the work for him? All I get from him is "Well you don't want me to come to the house". No, you can't come because you trashed it last time and haven't apologized or even acknowledged what happened. That's very different than me not wanting you to come by just because I feel like being difficult.

Needless to say this where it all broke down and has ended in a stalemate of stubbornness. He won't face reality and acknowledge that he put himself in this situation and I am so sick of his nonsense (especially after how much I cried and begged when he left and he treated me as less than human) that I won't lift a finger until he takes accountability. He speaks to me like I am a faceless employee that he needs to do something for him. He ignores what I say and just speaks over me. I've had it with him. I don't like ultimatums but this is who I've turned into when it comes to him apparently. Either he chooses to continue avoiding reality (aka he can go F himself and replace everything he left behind) OR he can choose to address the situation/talk to me and I will graciously take time out of my life to do this for him.

I don't even know if this is me being manipulative, abusive, narcissistic, or whatever now. I feel bad. I feel like I should apologize to him but this time I won't. I've become a shitty person. Bitchy. I don't want to be like this. Angry and rude.

I don't want to be a bad person who acts like him. I don't know. I'm just ranting and can't believe I am now acting like this.