Why asking for reassurance makes them split

Have you noticed asking for clarity or reassurance from you pwbpd triggers them into splitting and or discarding you?

After a split I’ll be understandably hurt but my pwbpd cannot handle more than maybe a moment of answering questions or giving clarity on the hurtful things said.

Some people say this is a lack of accountability and shame - i think it might also be they don’t want to confirm that is how they truly feel bc it gives you reason to “abandon” them.

If your partner has to confirm that “ yes I do actually want to be with someone else and find you so unbearable “ while they aren’t shielded by rage or disassociation, it might actually hurt for you to leave.

What do you think?