Not understanding consequences or cause and effect

I noticed my pwBPD will smear me to others, but at the same time, she expects a statis where those same people "forget" what she said. In a way she wants to be taken seriously at all times, but in such a way that others can discern fiction from non fiction, lie from reality. As far as she's concerned its a personality flaw on my side that causes the friction with her family. She's perfect, so it's clearly not something she did or said.

She routinely reframes arguments into opposites of what i said. I could tell her i dont appreciate being insulted, and shell complain to her family that im condescending. When she's in her rage mood she doesn't care about future consequences. Yet she expects me to fix all the damage she creates, as if i can just snap my fingers and undo her vitriol.