Working

I have an issue and I need advice. I've read previous BPD can leave people struggling to keep jobs, maintain schedules and get jobs. I've been a work horse since I was 9 (now 27) this last year I owned a business, worked another PT job and did PT school. So I know im not lazy or unmotivated.

This has happened before eith jobs ice had but I nailed a remote job for $20/hr which I've been struggling to get back to after losing my last job 2 years ago (paid me 20/hr as well). This job has been amazing, very kind, gifts, time off, flexibility but I am currently only PRN (as needed employee) so i have this feeling i will lose this job one day regardless. I've had it for almost 3 months now and I swear I've missed more time then I've worked. I got a knee surgery which put me out for almost 15 days (had some issues). My manager has been super understanding.

Now, getting back to work after that time off (2nd work week I'm on now) I'm not clocking in on time, I'm texting out for half the day for being sick, in pain etc. Even tho I work from home (which doesn't mean i can just work through issues, just means again, calling out alot). Is this an issue us with BPD have too? I've done this before at other jobs. Showing up late, calling out last minute, cutting days in half etc.

My partner and I are moving out of our parents and into a place together 1400 miles from our home town next summer. I feel like I'm letting him down by not being a hard worker, showing up and finishing. Its really messing with my head because I swear I have such great work ethic. I don't wanna have this job, move and then they let me go. I'd rather just find a new job up there but no one wants to match my 20$ an hour. (Which is insane because that's basically bare minimum to survive as a single human)

What should I do? How do I approach this issue I'm having? I'm very lost outside of the "don't be a wuss, get up and deal with it" like the generations before me say. Help?