Tips for my Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow please 🙏🩵 This feels like a last resort.

Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing well. After a long wait, I finally have my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow morning. Four years ago when I was living in Sydney, a psychiatrist first mentioned BPD as a possibility, and more recently, a psychologist noted my intense difficulty handling neutral facial expressions, extreme emotional sensitivity, and depressive episodes. These struggles have made building my career incredibly challenging, leaving me feeling constantly triggered and under attack.i feel like it all makes sense now. I used to normalise cutting my wrists and sleeping with multiple people in a week at Uni as just teenage stuff but this Carried on into my twenties…. What also has carried on is being hilarious and animated one second then suicidal the next….

I’ve found myself swinging between unhealthy habits, from drinking Prosecco in cups at the office to cycles of overeating and then restricting my diet. I’ve also pushed my body too hard at the gym, trying to numb the pain of feeling rejected, facing daily competitiveness, and dealing with the overwhelming sense that my sensitivity is too much for this world—that I am, ultimately, a fragile and flawed person.

I’ve tried medications like fluoxetine, citalopram, and Seroquel, but I feel exhausted and desperate. Now, at 31, I worry that I might be past the point of getting better, and I’m scared that I’ll never find someone who can love me as I am.

I want to make sure my psychiatrist understands how vital it is for me to get the right medication and care now. One of the hardest things is explaining to my family that life feels empty and meaningless to me, to the point where, if there were a pill to make everything stop, I’d want to take it. I know it’s not normal to feel this way, and I really need support.

Thanks guys xx 🩵