I am not OOP. OOP is u/Active_Bunch_9595

Original posted 3 days ago in r/AITAH

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1hsn2h2/aitah_for_not_helping_my_daughter/

AITAH for not helping my daughter

My daughter [22F] went NC with me two years ago. Before this happened, I was warning her about this guy she's dating who is full of red flags. He love bombed her and isolated her from her family and friends. She dropped out of college despite my pleas to reconsider.

She decided to move in with him and since then I never heard from her directly but she would often ask my family member to ask me for money. Last thing I heard about her is that she has 1 yr old twins and her life is basically falling apart. The "love of her life" turned out to be a monster and she's working two jobs to keep her family afloat. The friends she abandoned are now done with college and starting new careers in corporate while she works at a Dollar store and Uber.

A family member showed me a screenshot of my daughter's FB post basically calling me an asshole for not stepping up and helping her. She also ranted about me not supporting her to finish college unlike her friend's parents. I don't have much extra money and I am saving for retirement. She dropped out when I begged her not to. Plus she also blocked my number. She knows where I live but she never attempted to drop by. AITAH for not reaching out and offering help?

Update posted 2 hrs. ago in r/AITAH

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1hv4owl/update_aitah_for_not_helping_my_daughter/

Update: AITAH for not helping my daughter

First post

Thanks everyone for your input. I sent a message to my daughter via a family member on FB and my son and they both came to my house last night for dinner. I told them it is an open forum where we can air our grievances against each other and from there we will sort it out.

Daughter: Hates me for not trying hard enough to reach out to her when she moved in with her bf. She also hates it that I never tried to "accept" her bf.

My reason is that she decided to drop out and be an adult and I felt disrespected by hurtful things she said and by blocking me, I got the message she does not want me around. I can never accept her bf. He cheated on her many times and he does not work. I am disgusted.

Son: Hates me for not giving him the extra money I had saved for the rest of my daughter's college. And he also said, if I didn't want to give it to him, I could have given it to her when she got pregnant.

My reason is that I paid for his college too. Since my daughter did not finish, whatever extra money I had saved for her tuition, I moved it to my retirement savings. Why would I give it to him when I already paid for his too. He graduated with zero student loan. Also, why would I give it to her just because she got pregnant? Being an adult means you are responsible for your decisions.

Me: I am disappointed that my daughter dropped out, moved in with her bf, got pregnant, and now living a hard life. I told her I worked my ass off to give her a good life and that she was my little princess. I never wanted her to experience hardship in life but she chose this life and this is her reality now.

I'm disappointed at my son for cutting me off and disrespecting me when I tried to reach out.

All in all, we were civil. But they suggested that I get a reverse mortgage so they get their inheritance early and that would help them buy their own house. I said I will think about it.