Edit: Please don't offer legal advice. My lawyer and my father are dealing with it. Also I am not in the US

AITA for skipping my friends birthday without warning because his gf calls me the "Typical girl best friend"?

Hi! For the second time! I finally have some downtime and wanted to update.

I am the OOP, and if you have any questions, please ask away!

original post

Miles and I have known each other since we were 2 because our parents are best friends.

Now I would not say miles is my best friend. He is a good friend and we do hang out on occasion but see each other on all major holidays because of our parents.

We are in our early 20s.

The problem started because of a dumb childhood memory. When we were 8, we had a wedding play on school after care. I played the bride and miles the groom. It was a play. With horrible songs and uncoordinated kids.

Obs our parents made pictures and videos of that. And we each have one picture on our family picture walls.

Miles is dating Lindy. They met 3 years ago and started dating last year. Lindy does not like me.

So every time we concide at a celebration, she makes a comment about me being the typical girl best friend. She one time said that I secretly wanted to sleep with Miles.

I have no clue where she got that impression from. Miles and I have different friend groups and schedules. Besides the monthly catch-up over food, we didn't really meet that much.

Things got worse when Lindy saw the wedding play picture. The comments just got more. She even started DMing me on Instagram saying "she knew what game i was playing."

I talked to Miles once about this, and he told me to give her time.

So his birthday was on Saturday and I was invited. Lindy wrote me saying something along the lines that she was going to supervise me. This was their first birthday as a couple, and I was not allowed to take up his time.

I was honestly just fed up. I tried talking to Miles once more, but he said the same thing.

So I just skipped out. When the party started I wrote a quick sorry I can't come and told him my mother was going to bring his present.

Now he is upset with me for missing his birthday Lindy is mad that I made it all about myself, and my parents are upset I missed a "family function"

Aita ?

Edit: I didn't show anyone the messages because it didn't want to make more out of this than it is.

I didn't want to poison anyone against Lindy, especially not if she is a new fixture in Miles life. That would make both our lives more difficult. I hoped that just talking about it might be the more adult thing.

My parents are not mad at me or blowing up my phone. Ala reddit fashion. They and Miles parents were just bummed out that this was the first birthday that I ever missed.

As to why she is jealous. I have no idea. Neither of our parents ever wanted us to get together. There were no jokes or anything about it. I think they also never would want that.

The wedding play picture is in the living rooms because they loved the picture and it was our first play.

Update

I will update you in the first part and clarify some things later

After my post, I talked to Miles. At first, he was kind of mad and thought I had been blowing things out of proportion. Some more details are in my last post.

We came to the conclusion of taking more distance while he figures that all out. Mainly because I did not want the added stress of petty drama.

Then I talked to my parents and explained to them what was going on. They were really upset by how Lindy treated me.

Obviously, they weren't going to get involved , but it was nice to get that of my chest.

Then, nothing else happened. Until Tuesday evening. Wednesday was a holiday, so some of my friends took the opportunity to go to an Irish pub to do karaoke. At some point, my best friend and I went to pee and touch up our makeup. Then Lindy and some of her friends walked in and kind of cornered us. It wasn't pretty. They stared loudly talking about "man sealing bitches" and how some women were just born to be homewreckers. And imagine being pathetic enough to pretend to be a guy's friend to fuck him and how pick me's are the worst.

They kept kind of edging us physically into the part where the hand dryers were while pretending we were not there. Until my best friend had enough and just pushed through them while puling me behind her. We were almost at our table when Lindy went right behind me and pulled my hair, so that I fell backward onto like a metallic peace where you were supposed to put your feet on. It hurt so bad that I started to see white. And then a girl next to Lindy poured beer on me. I can not really tell you what happened, but there was a scuffle, and someone dropped one of those heavy pint glasses on my head.

The Lindies were taken away by police and I was taken to the hospital. My parents were furious as were Miles parents. They both came to the hospital. I was severely concussed, my nose was factured, and the worst thing is that I have a hairline fracture in my back. I stayed in the hospital till yesterday morning.

Miles did try calling me a bunch. According to my parents, they told him not to visit me right now. I did get an official notice saying that apparently there was now a legal case open against Lindy and one other girl for not only assault but also public disturbance in the bar. So now I'll have to deal with all that legally.

I finally talked to Miles. And long story short. Those of you saying Lindy was isolating him was a sign that an abusive relationship was right. He told me all the things she said to him to make him feel awful. She would freak out about anything in her life and take that out on him. She would scratch him and bite him when she was mad. Our talk ended with both of us crying and apologizing. We will be closer again. At least we can talk about these things more often. He broke up with her and is hiding at my parents' house.

So that is it for now.

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update 2

I'll update immediately and go into details later.

-there has been an official court date set for my process against Lindy. It took 2 months to get and is another 3 months out but something is something.

-our lawyer said that Lindy is probably not going to jail as she is a first time offender. If she goes to jail it would be no more than 3 months. Most likely she is going to have to pay a fee of 100 days of her income or something like that. I have let my father deal with this 100 percent because I have no head for it.

-there is a second lawsuit going on at the same time as now I am legally chronically ill. The hairline fracture was not a passing thing but developed. I am daily in pain. Not everyday is bad but not a day passes where I am not in at least a 2 on the pain scale. As a result, I have not been able to work. Right now by insurance pays 75% of my former income, and my workplace covers the rest. But I am probably going to get fired. So, my insurance filed a claim against Lindy to pay my lost wages.

I am right now not in contact with Miles. I tried to be supportive, but being disabled by his jealous ex-girlfriend made me bitter against him. He was a victim. But now I can't live my life. And I blame him partly for that.

I am in therapy to work through all of that and have taken up some new hobbies. I have started to write more and am looking into courses or online classes.

-Miles parents have been apologetic and have supported me a lot. His mother had been a Saint. She volunteered to drive me everywhere, and I have actually become friends with her. We even went to see Deadpool and Wolverine. She is a SAHW, so we have a lot of time.

One of Lindies friends reached out through my lawyer, offering a testimony against her own friend. She also sent a letter appolozing. To make it short, Lindy had told them i was bullying her and that Miles had once already cheated on her with me.

So that's where we are right now. Take care and shield your back.

⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️💖💖⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️💖💖

New Update

Hey everyone. So, here we are again, and yeah, things have moved along, but honestly, I’m just tired.

The first court date? It came and went. It was my insurance company vs. Lindy, and surprise, surprise, she lost. She’s on the hook for most of my lost wages, which is nice, I guess. I didn’t have to be there the whole time, which I was grateful for because I’ve had enough of this mess. As for the criminal case, well, we don’t even know if we’ll end up going to court for that one. My lawyer is handling it, and I’ve handed the reins over to my dad because honestly, I’ve had it. I’m no legal expert, and after that insurance loss, Lindy’s in a bad spot. Her legal team is apparently scrambling to do some serious damage control, but at this point, that’s not my problem.

More of Lindy’s friends have crawled out of their hidey-holes to give testimony. Turns out this wasn’t her first rodeo. Another girl came forward with evidence of Lindy pulling similar stunts back in high school. This poor girl was just sitting next to Lindy’s then-boyfriend, being a normal human, and Lindy went off the rails, starting rumors and spreading literal breadcrumbs on her table to trigger her celiac disease. Yeah, she’s that kind of psycho. No one could prove it at the time, but now, with all these “friends” popping up, it’s all coming to light. And believe me, these girls didn’t have some moral epiphany...they’re just terrified of getting fired or having anything negative pop up in their records. The receipts are coming out, and it’s getting uglier by the day.

Now, let’s talk about Miles, because that’s a whole other dumpster fire. I’m still not speaking to him. Turns out he’s known for a while that Lindy was threatening him with “bad things” if he didn’t cut me off and make his parents stop talking to me. And this idiot laughed it off. Thought she meant breaking up with him or something. But no, she was dead serious, even started stalking me and one of his cousins. She made some fake profile and was sending cryptic messages to his cousin. What did Miles do? Talked her down. Yeah, that’s it. She kept giving him ultimatums, and he just rolled with it. So, yeah, I’m even angrier at him now. He knew she was unhinged and didn’t do a damn thing about it. He let her spiral while I got dragged through the mud.

His dad finally got involved and dragged him to the police, where they filed reports about all the crap Lindy pulled. They have evidence now from the stuff with his cousin and even photos from when Lindy got physical with him. So, at least something’s happening on that front, but it’s too little, too late if you ask me.

As for Lindy, well, she’s gone radio silent. Except for TikTok, of course. My friends keep sending me her cringey videos, and it’s honestly kind of disturbing. She’s acting like nothing’s happening, like her whole life isn’t unraveling. She’s got a new boyfriend now, and they’re making those awful lipsync videos together. I think she’s living at his place, but who knows. Maybe her parents cut her off. Wouldn’t be surprised. Oh, and the guy? Yeah, one of my friends looked him up. Let’s just say he fits right into her pattern. As my grandma would say, “there’s a lid for every pot.”

On the health front, still nothing good to report. My pain hasn’t improved, and I’m now waiting for a surgery appointment, which looks like it’ll be early 2025. The pain is radiating to my left hip now, which is just great. I feel like that sad little dog from The Black Cauldron. But, hey, silver lining—I’ve made friends with a few of the nurses who work with me. One of them braids my hair, which is kind of sweet. I’m also seeing a physiotherapist regularly, mostly for massages at this point. It helps, but some days I feel like I’m just patching myself together with duct tape. The therapist suggested I start doing pool exercises, so now I’m in an aqua aerobics class for seniors. No, there isn’t a disability-specific class in my town, and frankly, I didn’t feel like looking too hard. The old ladies are a riot, though. Well, except for one who always looks miserable, but honestly, I’m not one to talk.

One piece of good news—I finally got approved for a wheelchair. So, at least I can go out with my friends without feeling like my body is falling apart after an hour. I’ve also been taking a few university courses for fun and playing way too much Fallout. So, there’s that.

And that’s where we are. It’s still a mess, but I’m just doing what I can to get through it. Thanks for sticking around, I guess.