I was SA’d due to neurotypical lingo

Tw: mention of sexual assault

It’s been years since it happened and I JUST reached this revelation. Yknow how neurotypicals often ask questions, not because they care about the answer, but as a polite was to suggest things? My ND boyfriend asked me today “Do you wanna go and sit over there?” and out of habit, I took it as “Let’s go over there” and I said “Sure”. He stopped me, saying “no, I don’t care about sitting there, I just wanted to know if you wanted to sit there.” That’s when I realised that even though I’m autistic, I’m still very used to the neurotypical way of interpreting questions as suggestions. It’s a very common thing in everyday communication and I’ve just kinda gotten used to it.

Well, a few years ago I was SA’d and I blamed myself for it a lot. I had given lots of subtle hints through my body language that I was not interested in the person sexually, but he caught me off guard and started taking taking off my clothes. He then asked me if I was “okay with it” and my automatic reply to it was to just say “okay”, since he was already in the middle of it and to me it was obviously just a way of him saying “I’m gonna do it” instead of asking me “Do you want to do it?”.
It’s been really difficult for me to explain to people that even though I said “okay”, I wasn’t actually consenting to the act. It was a habitual reply, as I’ve been conditioned to answer “okay” and “sure” to any suggestion people give me. I was also way too childish at the time to understand the weight of what I was “agreeing” to and he did not stop at me crying so obviously he didn’t actually care about the answer that I gave him.
Maybe this is just a hard cope on my part, but I feel like “neurotypical lingo” is a great explanation to what was actually going on here? Since I didn’t feel like I had a choice in this question anyways… I didn’t even interpret it as a question, I just took it as a declaration.

Edit: Thank you everyone for your support and I’m really happy to see that people who have gone through similar things are able to share their experiences thanks to my silly little revelation 🥹