I think I have given up all hopes

My child is 5 year old. Diagnosed with non verbal ASD at 1.5 year old. Started therapy (EIP, ST, OT) at 2 year old. And so far nothing much changed. Pretty sure I have flushed nearly half a millions down the drain. Still he’s not talking. Nowhere near highly functioning , or some signs he may be able to look after himself by the time I am dead.

They said to me, “oh he’ll talk, usually that happens around the age of 2-3)

He turned 3. And no, still not talking.

“Oh its ok, usually age 4-5 is when the talking explosion happens. He’ll suddenly talk in sentences”

Here we are. And no, he’s nowhere near talking in single words, let alone in sentences.

Now I have given up all hopes. What’s the point trying so hard when the the outcome is the same? He’ll remained retarted, disabled and unable to function in this world.

I regret ever bringing him to this world. I should never have even considered marriage in the first place knowing I had relatives with autism. If only I could turn back time, I would stay alone my whole life.