Can your Mom relax?

What is it like when your mom visits your home?

Mine demands to do all the cooking and cleaning. One time, she gave me a haircut, started to vacuum the hair on the floor, then just vacuumed the whole place, even though I just did it the day before

She tells me what time to shower, dry my hair, what time we're leaving the house, what time she'll start cooking supper so we can be at the movies for a certain time. She asks where we want to eat for supper, then says we're going to where she wants to anyway

She cannot relax for 5 minutes, and is constantly trying to cater to everyone (do you need coffee, tea, your glasses?) and just constantly wipes down my clean countertops.

When I was a kid, she would complain about no one helping her around the house, and then when we try to help, she would get upset because it was not being done her way

I've tried to explain that I want her to relax when she is at my house, and let me take care of things for her, but she just cannot stop and bursts into tears. She even gets upset when I furnish my home the way I want, and not in her style. I realize she has control and other issues, but boy it is exhausting trying to cater to them. I've tried having conversations with her for 15 years, but it just upsets her and nothing ever changes. She doesn't know anything other than "Mom Mode" even though her kids have lived away from her for 15-20 years. She hasn't been able to find an identity or happiness outside of Mom

Is your mom able to relax, or is she like my mom who says "she just wants to come over, play Mom, do all the cooking and cleaning and be in charge?"